Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Stress and Joy

Uuugh! So apparently sitting and knitting in front of Dancing With The Stars is not conducive to completing DKA assignment, which happens to be due tomorrow.
So computer is now on... and I find myself on blogger.... I come here most days to read my faves, but I haven't contributed anything lately as life has been busy, and I spend way to much time at the computer as it is...

The beautiful CAZ really hit a nerve with me with her post, except my 'thing' is UNI work/study/assignments. My children miss me, I know it. They ask questions like "Mummy, when you finish the Uni, will you be like a normal Mummy?" (excuse self to stick head in the washing pile and wipe tears). My husband resents the strong pull of study, he has a day off and I see an opportunity to send him out the door on an adventure with the kids to give me a few hours of uninterupted time to research and write my latest paper...or I sneak into bed at 2am after a marathon study sesh hoping he doesn't wake up and realise how late it is and remind me of it if I complain of fatigue to him tomorrow... it is a juggle, but when I drop a ball it has consequences on the people I love the most. I feel the most incredible guilt... and mostly because I LOVE what I am doing and learning and working towards. Ironic much?

Nurse, registered nurse, Sister, RN... 4 years behind me, 6 months to go and that is what I will be!

Hectic. I have almost completed the 1st semester for my final year! I should be an old hand at this by now, I have been studying my Bachelor of Nursing since June 2007, that's almost 4 years! But it does not get any easier. I started my Uni journey as a 29 year old mother of two, my youngest was just 5 monthes old! I would dash to daycare between lectures and tutorials to breastfeed him, and somehow it all just worked. Then in 2008, we discovered that we were going to be blessed with baby number three! I decided not to defer, so instead I dropped the clinical units for one year and carried on at a half workload of external units during 2009. Baby number three decided to shake things up a little and arrived in week 3 of the semester, at 6 weeks early!!! So, suffice to say, I have been a busy Mumma the whole of my Uni life, and I have spent most of this degree juggling children, breastfeeding, naps, and a shift working husband quite successfully! Surprisingly enough, I mostly feel like an at home Mumma, as I have usually only had to attend campus 2 days a week during semester, then I do my prac blocks. I feel so lucky.

But this is final year. This is when they cram having to attend campus each day (3 hour round trip in the car) for 4 weeks, then 6 weeks of UNPAID full time work on prac (yes, the childcare bills will be haunting me!)... we also have essays and papers, and assignments to churn out and exams to prepare for. And I gotta do it all over again next semester! My baby is now 2.... enough said! My middle boy is now 4, and our big girl is in year 1. This is the dining chair beside me holding the text I am reading or needing this week...

The contents of the children's lunch boxes have become much less naked and much MUCH more packaged, the homework is not being attended to every evening, the dog is lacking in walkies, and my kids are looking deep into my eyes looking for the relaxed Mumma they much prefer. So here I am, 4 years into my journey, and I am asking myself "Why did I do this?" but I remember often, because something little happens, and I feel the excitement stir.

So, VERY long story short..... I kept turning to my favourite  Mummyblogs for inspiration, Thankyou to my wonderful favourites! I just couldn't beleive it when I received a little message from the very inspirational Naomi from Seven Cherubs telling me I had WON her AMAZING giveaway! I am not sure if she would understand HOW much she has cheered me these last 2 monthes at Uni... the KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON tea towel is hanging over my study area... oh yeah baby!

The little pear notes make me smile every time I use them, I make banana bread just to use the gorgeous little Kawaii measuring spoons... ohh love! But those Sunny Mummy organisers, what the hell did I do before those! Miss 7, the hubby, and I refer to them always to know who has to be where and when, so great when hubby works 7 days a week on shifts! From the bottom of my heart, thankyou to my bloggie girlfriends, who I LOVE to visit most days, who make me smile, and inspire me to be better everyday!

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